hunger

Light Moments with Lynne

James S Russell3 Comments

#Alzheimers #Alzwa #alzauthors  #alzheimersSpeaks #endalz @ALZAUTHORS @james_s_russell,

These are glimpses of the joys in my life for the past week as a caregiver for Lynne.

I started a TikTok account after being coached by my grand-niece who is employed as a professional TikTok specialist. I planned to show multiple videos of Lynne’s face each time she saw me. For practice I videoed her at a table, another movement, then another. We got up to walk and then sat back down. As I recorded her expressions at the table I told her I was videotaping for my TikTok account. She pushed back her chair and pushed away my camera. “I don’t like this. I don’t like this. I’m not doing this.” When we walked in the hallways she seemed willing to let me take distant videos. I posted one of her walking past the open door of her apartment and discovering an easygoing friend hiding behind the door. Lynne said, “Oh, it’s Allie.” Allie peeked around the door to look at me. “Yes, I’m  Allie.” I have not posted the rest of them. I have not learned to steady the camera. Her sister Pam says I need a holder and will give me one for Father’s Day.

Lynne grabbed her pants. “I really have to pee.” I got someone for her. We walked the hall afterward. As a concerned parent, I asked, “Did you go?” “Yes, good thing.” I chuckled, “It is a good thing to pee.” She swung her shoulders into me. “Shush, Dad.” “Why can’t we talk about peeing?” She laughed.

We walked side by side down the hall side when she veered near a pillar forcing me to head right for it. She kept veering so I bumped into it face first. She just laughed, shook her head, and walked on.

With a radiant face she pointed at a MedTech. “That’s Chester. He’s smart.” 

She was at the end of a hallway walking toward me past a man in a wheelchair. She pointed at me and told the man, “That’s my dad.”

She liked the Frappuccino I poured into her doubled sized, “Slow down” coffee cup. She held the cup and straw to her lips several times until she drained it.  Afterward Chester placed a bowl in front of her filled with ice cream covered in rivulets of chocolate sauce. She spooned bites into her mouth, one so large I was prepared to catch whatever did not make into her mouth, but she bit it in half and returned the spoon with the other half. She emptied the bowl without spilling.  Chet and I agreed we could be making progress to maintain her weight.

Her hairdresser stopped me in the hall with a worried look. She had washed her hair and blow dried it, after which Lynn decided that was enough and walked away without getting it flat-ironed. “I didn’t charge her. I need your help.” I forgot. Every other Monday I have to entertain Lynne in the chair of her hairdresser to get through it. We set an appointment for next Monday when Pam could help both of us.

I’m blessed, we’re blessed, and now you’re blessed with these memories.

Visitors Helping Lynne and Dad

James S Russell3 Comments

#Alzheimers #Alzwa #alzauthors  #alzheimersSpeaks #endalz @ALZAUTHORS @james_s_russell,

Lynne has had an active life since her last hospice assessment a month ago. Friends, Patricia and Terry, from graduate school at Seattle University, were able to make their first visit. They had to overcome some reluctance because they had not visited before and were not sure they could make her comfortable.  Patricia wrote me about their experience. They did well as you will see from their story.

“It was lovely to see her and how much so many people cared for her. I was deeply moved and saddened by her condition. I could feel how much and how many people love her, especially you, Jim. We had a few moments of connection and recognition. I think not seeing her every day [makes me wonder] if our visit made a difference in the quality of her life. I hope it did.”

Patricia and Terry put her in her crimson pearl ¾-length coat and walked her around nearby sidewalks, but did not think it was very far..

I responded, “You may not consider that very far, but I think she probably did walk quite a ways. I like to learn what she does when guests come over. You made a difference in the quality of her life by being there, compared to when she is left alone. When she’s more connected, she’s in a far better place.

Last Sunday, Edith, a dear friend for decades, came up from Bend, OR to join Nancy and LynnR. This is Nancy’s report, edited for brevity and clarity.

“We had a really nice time. Lynne was really emotional probably the first half an hour we were with her. She was going through real interesting cycles from anger and sadness; and hugging us real hard and pushing us away like, ‘Get away from me.’ So we gave her an iced latte, and I think that helped her a little bit.

“But the main thing was we got her outside and then she was quite happy, and we were able to take her for a good walk. Over time we eventually had ice cream and cookies and she rallied with those.

“On the way home she was walking and was singing with us. At the end we sat at the couches in main lobby awhile. Her neck was incredibly tight, so I massaged gently. Each of us gave her water and we talked for 1/2 an hour. She was very relaxed and calm when we left. It was one of those days where you kind of get a little bit of everything and we were really happy to be with her. “

Both sets of visitors were physically present, attentive to her behavior, sorting through the mystery of her disease, finding delight, getting participation and partnering with her to end up enjoying themselves. I am thankful they visited and persisted in caring for her as well as they did.

Today we had a nice surprise. After Keith was returning to Bellingham from a doctor’s appointment in Mt. Vernon, he pulled off the highway, cancelled appointments of his phone,  and drove to Seattle to be with us. She was shocked with excitement to the face of her close brother show up at the dining room table. He took over from me to spoon feed her and we had a pleasant meal and walk. When Lynne turned around to walk away from us, we went back to my apartment and talked for two hours about her and helping ways we could help her sons deal with the disabling grief they are experiencing as they help care for their mother. I welcomed his experience on the help we need to give her sons.

Last Sunday Lynne had one month follow-up on her weight, which dropped from 117.4 to 114.8 pounds, a slower rate of weight loss. I texted the nurse and she wrote an order to add a 4th booster every day, but added, “It’s so hard to keep her weight up with her walking.”

I remain overwhelmed with gratefulness for the caregiving team which supports us all.