Walkers Cause Insoluble Fear

New scratch on L’s nose is from a fall with a friend.  She had fallen 2x the day we visited. She’s a walker. My mom, also a walker, cracked her pelvis on her last fall. Unrepairable. Mom laid in bed for 6 more months. We live with insoluble fear. While we sat with her she often stood to walk but gave up because Carol and I sat too close to her. She sat back causally. An anguished aide keeps considering ideas for her as a walker: A helmet? A safety suit? #alzauthors #alzheimers #caregiver #dementia

Melancholy and Merry-Making

Melancholy swiftly swarms over me when I recall images of my vibrant Lynne in contrast to her stumbling shuffle today. Merry-making quickly rushes inside me when she recognizes me for 4th time that day, smiles and reaches out to hug me for the 4th time. tags: alzauthors caregiver dementia

Being There For Her

Lynne walks briefly, bends over or sits on the floor. I set my elbow on her hip & squeezed her arm & hand to steer her. She accepted. She tried to sit & I pushed up her butt with my knee. Being with her now soothes regrets when I might have been with her.  #alzauthors#caregiver

Giving All Every Day

Head down. Bends over every few steps. Plods. Stops. Speaks with an unintelligible purpose. Hugs me. Can’t see chair in front of her. My emotions surge with respect, courage, sorrow, doubt, strength, and deeper love. She gives me her all every day. #alzauthors#alzheimers#caregiver
Photo by Imman Wegmann, Unsplash