Nevertheless Dementia, We Persist

5/31, Dear Susan and Karin, I haven’t thanked you for visiting Lynne last week. Of course, it seems to make no sense for me to say thanks when you visit a friend and have a good time. So why do I feel grateful and how should I say it?

It makes me feel good when someone is there entertaining her with a different interpersonal relationship than I have.  I ache when she is alone and I am not going to see her. I urge myself to go more and I do what I can, always knowing I could do more if I didn’t have other things I choose to do in my life. So, I relish times whenever friends care enough to make a special effort to see her. I feel less guilt. I feel more supported.

Also, I like to hear exactly how Lynne responds and how you and other guests respond. I learn from your, and other, visits, get ideas, try other things. I can report other experiences on the blog to encourage other people to visit.

Many, I think, fear coming to see her because they feel uncertain about what to say.  So, I appreciate your willingness to risk a little time that may feel painful, soothed only by the truth that she knows you care. So, thank you.  Dad

6/1  Hi Jim, Thank you for your very thoughtful message. Susan and I really enjoyed our time with Lynne. Our visit worked out just perfectly with time to chat in the hallway, see her room, take a walk in the neighborhood, meet some of her Aegis friends who all adore her and sent her off on her field trip. When she saw us, she greeted us with the biggest hugs!

After our visit, Susan and I met five of our Microsoft Posse for lunch down the street, and it was wonderful to see everyone and talk about our favorite old and new memories. Getting reacquainted with this group the last few years has been so wonderful for me, and it really is Lynne who has brought us together.

Please know we love her very much and would do anything for her. Let us know if we can do more. You, Lynne and the boys are in our constant thoughts. 😊  xoxo Karin

6/1 I’m choked up right now with tears in my eyes. I hope you appreciate how much your care supports our family. Jim