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Nancy and LynnrR’s visit 1/2/23: Lynne was in a happy place and did lots of giggles and smiles. We ran into her twins when we visited. Fun to catch up with these awesome dudes and see sweet moments of connection. They are twin towers of love
In August Lynne said YES after the 3rd time I asked Lynne if she wanted to grant her twins power of attorney to backup Dad. Lynne convinced the Notary she understood. The sensitive, caring men visited yesterday, confirming again, she made a good decision. They went one better by visiting me afterward to give me a gift of the top-of-the-line desk chair similar to the ones their dad got for them. They fit them to their frames. The knew I needed to replace my video gaming chair.
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Friend Kate treasures 10 years of monthly Sunday suppers with 4 families & kids. “We timed it so Lynne hosted in December with her famous raclette. She was an amazing hostess in a full house of Christmas decorations. With the four families, each family hosted 3x/year and the rule was no one could bring anything so it was on the host family to serve 8 adults and 10 kids. She recalled it. Let’s celebrate her gifts #alzauthors#caregiver#endalz
Lynne adapts to dementia by reducing lived space, like her calm peaceful quiet 2-BR apt. She walked in 4 rooms. “Hi, sit with me on the bed.” Opened her mouth to ask for a choc mint. Alexa played Lyle Lovett. She sang, danced, smiled, & slowly revived.
Smaller Space Longer Time worked. This a good meta-analysis of the importance of giving her smaller, peaceful, quiet lived space when possible: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5795848/
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Friend Nancy: She was a “fighter for justice and fairness, who really educated us in the department, other interviewers, and decision makers at the company around how they needed to think more broadly and not be so cookie cutter in the way we analyzed talent. For example, in evaluating a female candidate and male interviewers were saying, “Oh, her communication style was very circular.” And Lynne was all over that. “Wow, that’s a dog whistle. You’re basically describing feminine versus masculine.”
Lynne was so groggy on Christmas, I escaped after 15 minutes to join her boys and her brother’s family for dinners. In our loving joviality each of us kept silent thru winces of grief from missing her. O joy for all of us to to see Lynne’s smile in Nancy’s Christmas photo. #alzheimers#alzauthors#caregiver#endalz
While I was with Carol, friends Nancy & Rauch cuddled with sleepy Lynne in her single bed. Recalled 20 friends in a slumber party in a massive snowstorm. She laughed a lot & ate a bounty of meals & snacks. “2-hour sweet visit.” Soul-stirring blessing for Dad.
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I ached for Lynne alone, aimless, abandoned as Carol and I dressed in our bedroom in the historic Silver Queen Hotel in Virginia City Nevada before Lacy J Dalton’s Comstock Christmas Concert at the Red Dog saloon, my gift of Christmas bliss for Carol.
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New haircut, finally. Designed to easily brush, shampoo, and look good all day. Caregivers, concierge, co-residents, barber, are all happy. She can walk and eat without hair in her eyes. She seems to walk more upright now. Halleluiah!
Lynne hugged me. She usually hugs me tight & pushes away within a minute. This was a gentle hug, resting in my arms, standing straight. 2 minutes, 3. Whispering in my ear. 5. The cleaning lady had to push her cart around us. 7, 9, finally 11. A gift.
#alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver. Tags: Alzheimer’s caregiving Dads