I ached for Lynne alone, aimless, abandoned as Carol and I dressed in our bedroom in the historic Silver Queen Hotel in Virginia City Nevada before Lacy J Dalton’s Comstock Christmas Concert at the Red Dog saloon, my gift of Christmas bliss for Carol.
New haircut, finally. Designed to easily brush, shampoo, and look good all day. Caregivers, concierge, co-residents, barber, are all happy. She can walk and eat without hair in her eyes. She seems to walk more upright now. Halleluiah!
Lynne hugged me. She usually hugs me tight & pushes away within a minute. This was a gentle hug, resting in my arms, standing straight. 2 minutes, 3. Whispering in my ear. 5. The cleaning lady had to push her cart around us. 7, 9, finally 11. A gift.
Henrik, Lynne’s relentless child, regularly chanted “I can do this. Nobody knows, but I can do this” He inspired our family. I saw Lynne stop, hang her head, rest her hands on her knees until she inspired me: “I can do this. I can do this” and rose up.
Lynne walks head down now. Hair covered up her eyes. It frustrated her, us. She took off headbands. Too much hair for scrunchies. Booked a haircut. Thankfully a caregiver tied it in a wrap. Happy now as she waits to use her straw for a new drink. Dad’s handicapped caring for his motherless child. #alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver Tags: Alzheimer’s caregiving haircare dementia
Seeing Lynne in her final stage is painful at times. What helps is other caregivers caring for me. Patricia, a classmate and educator, posted this statement to me, “You raised a spectacular woman. Lynne was a fantastic educator and all-around human.” #alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver
Lynne studied my wedding photo the 29th. She had adored it countless times. I said, “I miss mom.” She teared up, sorrowful, “I miss Mom.’” We repeated it. I said, “She loved you so much.” She heard it. Alzheimer’s caregiving includes sharing sorrow.
Lynne’s mom and I married 11/29/63. After Lynne’s diagnosis they loved, disagreed, & agreed daily. Mom’s hospice was moved to Lynne’s facility to be with Lynne. Seeing us together, Mom said, “I am seeing a miracle” Lynne still says, “I miss my mom.” #alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver
Lynne loved visiting my mom for hours and hours in Mom’s early Alzheimer’s. Lynne set a goal to be as happy as Mom for my sake. Mom was retired. Lynne lost her sons’ futures, friends and a career. Happy led to failure. I regret not helping her understand that #alzauthors#endAlz