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Nevertheless Dementia, We Persist

Four generations of a family’s struggle to stay united caring for younger onset Alzheimer’s members

caregivers

Christmas Bliss for Carol

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I ached for Lynne alone, aimless, abandoned as Carol and I dressed in our bedroom in the historic Silver Queen Hotel in Virginia City Nevada before Lacy J Dalton’s Comstock Christmas Concert at the Red Dog saloon, my gift of Christmas bliss for Carol.

#alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver

DementiaAlzheimer's, caregivers, caregiving, Dementia, loneliness

A new Haircut Finally

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New haircut, finally. Designed to easily brush, shampoo, and look good all day. Caregivers, concierge, co-residents, barber, are all happy. She can walk and eat without hair in her eyes. She seems to walk more upright now. Halleluiah!

DementiaAlzheimer's, Assisted living, care giver support, caregivers, Dementia

An 11 Minute Gift

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Lynne hugged me. She usually hugs me tight & pushes away within a minute. This was a gentle hug, resting in my arms, standing straight. 2 minutes, 3. Whispering in my ear.  5. The cleaning lady had to push her cart around us.  7, 9, finally 11. A gift.

#alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver. Tags: Alzheimer’s caregiving Dads

DementiaAlzheimer's, care giver support, caregivers, Dementia

Dance Like An Egyptian

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Lynne’s brother and Dad remembered when Lynne danced to Dance Like an Egyptian. Keith’s wife Sheri played the music and Keith and Dad danced while Lynne laughed.

#alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver

DementiaAlzheimer's, care giver support, caregivers, caregiving, Dementia

I Can Do This

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  • Henrik, Lynne’s relentless child, regularly chanted “I can do this. Nobody knows, but I can do this” He inspired our family. I saw Lynne stop, hang her head, rest her hands on her knees until she inspired me: “I can do this. I can do this” and rose up.
    • #alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver Tags: Alzheimer’s Caregiving Inspiration Courage
DementiaAlzheimer's, care giver support, caregivers, caregiving, Dementia

Happier with New Haircare

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Lynne walks head down now. Hair covered up her eyes. It frustrated her, us. She took off headbands. Too much hair for scrunchies. Booked a haircut. Thankfully a caregiver tied it in a wrap. Happy now as she waits to use her straw for a new drink. Dad’s handicapped caring for his motherless child.
#alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver Tags: Alzheimer’s caregiving haircare dementia

DementiaAlzheimer's, care giver support, caregivers, Dementia

Spectacular Educator All-around Human

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Seeing Lynne in her final stage is painful at times. What helps is other caregivers caring for me. Patricia, a classmate and educator, posted this statement to me, “You raised a spectacular woman. Lynne was a fantastic educator and all-around human.” #alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver

DementiaAlzheimer's, care giver support, caregivers, caregiving, Dementia

Sharing Sorrow During Alzheimer’s

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Lynne studied my wedding photo the 29th. She had adored it countless times. I said, “I miss mom.” She teared up, sorrowful, “I miss Mom.’” We repeated it. I said, “She loved you so much.” She heard it.  Alzheimer’s caregiving includes sharing sorrow.

DementiaAlzheimer's, care giver support, caregivers, Dementia

Lynne Mom Dad Memories

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Lynne’s mom and I married 11/29/63. After Lynne’s diagnosis they loved, disagreed, & agreed daily. Mom’s hospice was moved to Lynne’s facility to be with Lynne. Seeing us together, Mom said, “I am seeing a miracle” Lynne still says, “I miss my mom.” #alzauthors#endAlz#caregiver

DementiaAlzheimer's, Assisted living, care giver support, caregivers, Dementia

Reduce Lynne’s Unrealistic Goal

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Lynne loved visiting my mom for hours and hours in Mom’s early Alzheimer’s. Lynne set a goal to be as happy as Mom for my sake. Mom was retired. Lynne lost her sons’ futures, friends and a career. Happy led to failure. I regret not helping her understand that #alzauthors#endAlz

DementiaAlzheimer's, anxiety, caregivers, Dementia, loneliness
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