Enlivening Lynne In A Visit

 “Hi Lynney!” Hello! Lynne was standing straight up, at the transition between the dinning area and the TV area. She Turned as I walked towards her and looked at me.

“Hi Lynney!”

A big smile and chuckle.

“I brought you these daffodils from my yard, they are growing like crazy! Aren’t they pretty?” I held the flowers near her face and asked, “They smell really nice, want to smell them?”

She opened her mouth, kind of trying to “have a taste”…”no, not for eating! Smell them, sniff with your nose…”

Then her mouth closed and I could here her sniffing.

We started to walk a little as she spoke in her own language (“Lynnese”) a sentence or so 95% Lynnese and 5% English…her face got worried and she started to cry.

“Oh no, you’re upset. Why are you upset, Lynne?” More said in Lynnese. Fretting about something for sure. More crying.

I hugged her and she leaned in to me, put one hand on my hip. I pulled away and asked if she wanted to hug me back, she said “YES”.

So I put her arms around my waist and we hugged more. She cried.

I told her we were going to find a place for me to lotion and rub her hands, arms and lower legs. She said “Yes.”

More Lynnese with a little English mixed in, distressed facial expressions. This was the most verbal and expressive I have experienced her…it felt like she was really trying to process something, memories or current happenings, or both…who knows but there was a lot going on.

An older man in street clothes (who I haven’t seen before) shared very quietly that Lynne had had a difficult day, she had been upset a lot. I assume he works there.

We found a spot around the corner from the busy TV area, a little out of the fray.

I got her settled in the chair and started to lotion her hands. She calmed down some. While still speaking a lot. No longer so agitated or distressed or crying. I asked if she’d like some music and she said yes. She relaxed and closed her eyes. She was tired. She’d shift in and out of tired/resting and talking to me – mostly Lynnese but definitely with English mixed in and in a way that makes me believe she really was processing something. She  would say “oh that didn’t” sandwiched by Lynnese. She was also much more aware of the surroundings, noticing other people and things…sometime things that weren’t actually there.

She also touched me more…reached out to touch/grab my jacket cuff or my elbow or wrist, the fob around my neck.

She finally really mellowed and mostly closed her eyes…I told her it was ok to snooze while I was there. I got a few more smiles and chuckles and occasional comments.

One of the aids walked by and said “Thank you, so good to see her calmed down now.”

I asked if she was tired and she said “YES”…a few minutes later a BIG yawn, followed by another. I flagged Gabe (?), the aid and told him she was ready for bed, he said she was next in line after the woman he was assisting.

I told her I loved her three times in a row while we were looking at each other, she tried to say it back, with a half smile. 

I combed her hair (after she approved) with my fingers, massaging her scalp. That was clearly pleasurable. She rubbed her VERY moisturized hands together calmly.

When Gabe came to collect, her I told her it was time for bed and that I was going to California for the week. That I loved her and I would see her when I came back.


I hugged her tight and told her I loved her. And she laughed and pulled on my jacket front…hugging me back.

I noticed the scrape on her right elbow and knee, assuming she took a spill.

I also think the socks she was wearing are too tight. The cuff left a big indentation and the knitted insides left minor indentations too. I wonder if we could ditch those socks? (Carol ditched those socks.) Full disclosure, I hate it when my socks are tight like that. It makes my legs itch! 🤷🏼‍♀️🙂

Making up for lost time with her, when I didn’t have the bandwidth…I’m glad it brings her solace and you support!!

Tags: Alzheimer’s caregiver dementia father-daughter

Leave a Reply