Feeling I Abandoned Her

Lynne sat silently on the patio. I added music, talk, held hands. No reactions. Finally, Gotta go. “No.” “I’ll be back.” I grabbed the patio door. She yelled, No. I said, I’ll get someone. I felt like I abandoned her, if only for an instant.

Tags: Alzheimer’s caregiver dementia father-daughter

Talking Words With Lynne

Lynne states clear words, usually 1, maybe 2 or more. After her 1st spoon of pudding, I asked, Is that good?” She smiled & nodded “Oh, yeah!” I decided to let her talk Alzheimers When I spoke, she watched me speak and make a motion with my head. We were communicating.

The results: Her words/Mine:  No/OK, no. Never/OK, never. Take/What? (no answer). Just go/I will. Quiet/Gotta go. OK/Gotta go. She always listened to me. When she used a word she looked at me. So how much deeper can we go?

Tags: Alzheimer’s caregiver dementia father-daughter  

Lynne’s Ladies Social Club

Lynne sits in an armchair by the aquarium. Women visit. Tallthin1: most frequent, reaching out, offering something.  ShortGray1: whispers advice and reports. One asks me how I am.. They’re usually polite, tolerant; at times, testy. Tags: Alzheimer’s caregiver dementia father-daughter

Visits Feeding Lynne

I avoid feeding Lynne meals. Eating entertains her. My visit is a 2nd entertainment – or not. I fed her Friday and stayed longer than normal. Next, I sat as she was fed & she enjoyed us both. I prefer meal visits Tags caregiver dementia father-daughter Alzheimer’s

Nancy and I Share Memoirs

8/16/23 Nancy is writing a memoir about her BFF, Lynne. Nancy & I share feedback on our drafts. Her vastly different experiences illuminate multiple dimensions of my extraordinary daughter. Nancy’s sharing & caring blesses both of us

Dad Needs Better Care

I’ll move to a Retirement Center for better nutrition, exercise, socializing, medical care, safety, and rest. I’ll visit Lynne less often. I could delay a move 6 weeks to visit more, but I need better health soon. It hurts to decide that. Tags: Alzheimer’s caregiver dementia father-daughter   

Lynne Wanted No Today

Lynne gave me “Nos” today. “Go away.” Kicking or pushing my leg or chair. I held my hands in surrender, “OK”. She relaxed as I obeyed. She said no to hallucinations. I asked staff to check her diaper. I’m grateful I could give her what she needed
tags Caregiver Alzheimer’s dementia father-daughter

Alzheimer’s Damages Younger Families

Lynne’s early-onset #Alzheimers diagnosis when she was a mother with 3 teenagers has harmed the careers of her sons. Lynne’s 25-year-old twins and a 20-year-old, have delayed careers, dropped out of college, and postponed their plans to move out of their father’s home.
Their father and his partner halted their plans until the boys moved out. They have worked with counselors individually and as a family with little improvement. Lynne would want them to move on with their lives. Her brother and sister have offered to help.
I am frustrated because I have not made a difference, other than to support them in their lives. I have searched for resources to help but besides the usual suggestions about care for spouses or parents, we seem to be unique in Alzheimer’s literature.
The wreckage on this family is far worse than what I experienced caring for my mother when she was diagnosed as a retired widow. We would welcome your suggestions.
Tags: Alzheimer’s caregiver dementia father-daughter


Sister Pam Was Remembered

Sunday, when I saw Lynne, she reached out to me. When Pam arrived , Lynne brightened way up  with arms outstretched and almost rose out of her armchair. It had been months since Pam had seen her. Tags Alzheimer’s caregiver dementia father-daughter