Nevertheless Dementia, We Persist

Caregiving

We are still stumbling forward on her footcare. Last Thursday with her sons Lynne told us her right foot hurt. I took her boot off. When I walked her inside she had put her boot on and zipped it up. She’s persistent and inconsistent. I decided to replace the boots.

Lynne wore socks in her Velcro shoes and brought her boots to the shoe store. When we took her shoes and socks off, the heels and ankles on both feet were bleeding.

The store owner stopped the bleeding and put band aids on both heels and ankles of her feet. The owner refunded the boots because they were inflexible for the foot size she wears. We bought new socks for her black shoes.

I was furious about the bleeding and wrote an email that her foot care is unacceptable.

Pam said bleeding was completely unacceptable. Keith said, “Pops, this isn’t Aegis fault. New shoes and no socks make no sense. Of course, she is going to blister. Wearing socks just needs to be the new standard. She needs comfortable shoes and socks.”

Luna, operations manager, (not her real name) set up a family conference on foot care and medications. Luna acclimated us to the new world of Lynne’s moods. She gets frightened, anxious, aggressive, and angry. Once she gets angry, there is no talking her down. She will not stay alone in her room more than a few minutes. Staff calls to cheer her up with calls to me, friends or family work until she hangs up and reverts, which explains why I‘ve had fewer calls.

She walks constantly around the lobby where she can be observed, or where staff lead her to other areas such as Life’s Neighborhood, outside garden, and sixth floor outdoor patio. She says hello to people she meets. She won’t sit long enough to finish a dinner, so staff give her snacks between dinners. We’ll have to watch her weight. Luna warned us that their plan to eliminate her current medication for a baseline usually takes 30 days, and another 30 days to find a new level. Luna noticed she leans to the left when she walks, which may mean an inner ear infection. She’ll have nurses check on her.

Then Luna reviewed the condition of her feet and shoes. Lynne pulls off her shoes and socks and puts them on perhaps 30 times a day. They can get lost, so Luna says she has a black marker to write the name on the shoes. We need to replace those shoes every 6 months. Luna said the reason Lynne had blood on heels was because she had blisters from wearing the boots without socks for two days and then wearing them other times. The blisters ruptured on Friday when we took her to the shoe store.

Aegis staff, nurse and a podiatrist have checked the pain in Lynne’s foot. A nurse and the podiatrist used a technique of comfortably holding her feet while chatting until she’s distracted before pressing all toes, bones and soles. She didn’t wince either time. The X-Rays did not show any reason to cause pain.  

Pam and Luna recommended we buy slip on shoes for the summer, so Pam ordered the ones she likes at the shoe store. Lynne liked the fit. She also liked how easily she slipped them on and off in the store. Afterward we drove around Lake Washington listening to Bruce Springsteen, which gave her time to take her new shoes on and off often. When we returned, the concierge suggested we put her names in all four shoes. His black marker did not work in her black shoes. So, he used a machine that printed stickers with her name. We pasted them on the leather and edges of the cushion with the hope the stickers will stay on as her shoes come on an off.

Caring for her distress is getting harder. Feeling her in distress is getting sadder. Doing the best we can do as a team makes it easier.